January 23, 2012

Good morning fam,

I want to start this morning and say thanks to those who came to my HEALTH birthday party yesterday afternoon. Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of my HCG journey that changed Chip and I forever. (love you brother and am so proud of you!) It meant everything to me to see you guys and have a HEALTHY meal with you. I was SO surprised! My daughter is the best girl ever! And my husband and Shelly really played me "like a fiddle." It was great to celebrate with my close friends who have walked with me for a year now and each had their own "victory story" to share. My only regret is that we didn't "do the victory dance" together. Well, except when we started singing "we are family." We danced a wee bit, but yesterday's party was more important to me than my biological birthday. Those calendar birthdays only inch us toward the end of life - and none of us can stop that. BUT........those health birthdays give us that QUALITY of LIFE that make the latter years FABULOSO!

Thanks again for coming to celebrate!

Today I want to comment a second on something P Mike said in church yesterday. He stated, "we seldom ask God for a change of character, but always ask for a change in our circumstances." In other words we are asking God to change our marriage and not change us. OUCH!!!!! OR.......change how much our bodies weigh and what they look like in a swimsuit without changing the fact that we allow an addiction to rule our life. MAN - that hit me between the eyes. I would cry, pray, shout at God, beg him to HELP ME loose weight as I stuffed 3-4,000 calories of food in my mouth on a daily basis. OCCASIONALLY I would ask God to help me be disciplined - but I never meant it. As soon as I would loose five pounds, I headed to the store to get my favorite candy bar or LaParilla for the cheese dip (with the three meats) that is so laden with salt and fat my arteries would twitch as I entered the door. Up 5 - down 5. Up 10 - down 3. Up 8 - down 1..........until I was depressed and obese. And on top of it all, mad at God. REALLY......

I never REALLY wanted God to CHANGE ME, just to give me the metabolism to eat what I wanted without the discipline. There, I said it. I never really wanted to give up starch and sugar; I never really wanted to give up pizza from Mello Mushroom; I never really wanted to give up chocolate and candy and theatre popcorn dripping with butter..........but I REALLY wanted God to change my CIRCUMSTANCE. (obesity) Can you identify?

Today, my character is being remolded and my addiction to food broken as well as my circumstance. My single-digit jeans bring a smile to my face. But more than that, they are a reminder that CHANGE ALWAYS BEGINS WITH MY CHARACTER, NOT MY CIRCUMSTANCE. Ask the Holy Spirit what drives you to over eat, move the boundaries, make excuses and then annihilate each one. In my case, my bottom line was I LOVED food more than health and years of ridicule as a "fat kid" caused such hurt and food comforted me. That is broken in me. Food now SERVES MY PURPOSE - I don't bow to it's lure. AMEN!

Have a great day and eat to live. You are worth it! PK